Helping Kids Form Their Own Identities

Children develop their identities by learning to know what they like about their environment, their way of dressing, and their way of relating to others and the world. For your child to develop an identity of his own, you must sponsor this development of identity by being aware of your child's actions and behaviors, and what these tell you about him.

For example, if your child has a cluttered room and has to save everything, you probably have a sentimental child that doesn't like to part with things. If you cleaned your child's room and threw away "the junk" that she had too much of, you might be ignoring who your child is as a person.

How Children Reveal Their Identities Your kids show off their colors through how they choose to decorate their rooms, the friends they like to associate with, their dress, food choices, activity choices, and more. They are giving you clues about who they are as well as taking from you certain things they admire and incorporating those into their identities. Many parents forget to ask children important questions that can reveal their child's belief and value system; asking such questions can sponsor a healthy sense of self in your child.

For example, Miriam didn't like her daughter Leigh's taste in clothing, because it was different than her own. Every holiday Miriam would buy what she liked for her daughter, but Leigh wouldn't wear it. Mom would be disappointed, and her daughter felt guilty. Leigh also read magazines that Miriam disapproved of, and Miriam would get angry that her daughter was reading these magazines; however, Miriam never thought to ask her daughter what she liked about the magazines. Such a question would have given Miriam valuable insight into her daughter's individuality and character.

I asked my son the other day what he liked so much about sports and in turn got some great clues to his personality. He replied that he liked the teamwork, the goal setting, the movement, and the success. This response not only tells me about sports, it tells me more about my child.

Emotional awareness is becoming aware of who your child is, and offering him support in growing that self into a very well-formed identity—one that will offer him the ability to make positive choices and decisions in his life.

Tips for Sponsoring Healthy Identities Be aware of your child's actions and behaviors and what they tell you about him.  Ask questions about why your child chose a topic, or picked an outfit, or read a certain book or magazine. Ask objectively without judgment.  Give your child choices about activities she would like to participate in.  Offer him reasonable food and clothes choices.  Compliment your child on her personal style.  Listen to your child's ideas openly and don't force your ideas on him.  Offer suggestions without controlling your child's ideas and behaviors.  Make sure you know your identity and have the confidence to let your child have hers without criticism and judgment.  Create activities that help your child identify who he is. (Recently my daughters made collages. They cut out pictures of everything that symbolized themselves and then reviewed each others' work. Then they personalized the projects even more and hung them over their beds.)  Have your child create a family party or one with some friends. Ask her to plan it and design what she wants. What kind of food, music, or atmosphere would she like?

The healthy identities of children are their keys to knowing themselves and seeking what they want in life.

Hyperactive Kids?

Hyperactive children can be difficult to teach, as well as disruptive to the class. Some such students have serious problems such as ADD or ADHD. 

Some students have difficulty paying attention in class, act hyperactive or impulsive. They exhibit various characteristics that can be bothersome to teachers, other students and even themselves.


Students who have problems paying attention are easily distracted. Hyperactive students often get restless sitting in class and may fidget with their hands or feet or squirm in their seats. Some students are impulsive, blurting out answers before questions have been completed.

Reasons for active behaviour

There are a number of reasons that some children or students have short attention spans, may seem hyperactive, or are impulsive. In extreme cases, such a child is labelled as having Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD). Being aware of these reasons is important is establishing teaching strategies to deal with the situation.

Teacher strategies

Teachers can use some strategies to cope with overly-active students, as well as those who have ADD or ADHD.

Classroom characteristics

Classroom characteristics that promote success for many hyperactive children include:

• Predictability and structure of classroom activities
• Shorter work periods
• Small teacher to pupil ratio and more individualized instruction
• Interesting curriculum
• Use of positive reinforcement

Teacher attitudes

Research literature suggests a number of useful teacher attitudes, including:

• Positive academic expectations
• Frequent monitoring and checking of work
• Clarity in giving directions
• Warmth, patience and humor
• Consistency and firmness
• Knowledge of different behavioral interventions
• Willingness to work with a special education teacher

Self-monitoring

Student responsibility for his or her behavior is often effective. Usually students realize they have a problem and want to correct it. Self-monitoring techniques can be effective in the school setting.
teachers can help self-monitoring of attention by cueing the student so that he can determine how well he is attending to the task at hand. One method is to use an audio tone such as a random beep. 

Good practice, in general

The classroom characteristics that promote success, positive teacher attitudes, and monitoring behavior is not only effective with hyperactive, ADD and ADHD students, but they are a good practice to follow for ALL students.

Although hyperactive children can be difficult to teach, knowing the reasons for their behaviour can be helpful in establishing strategies to deal with the situation. Providing structured classroom activities, personal attention, as well as positive expectations and warmth, are good strategies to follow for hyperactive children, as well as for all students.

Make Learning Fun

If you’ve been teaching students, young and old alike, you have probably encountered the greatest drawback in teaching history – boredom. Boredom can be a teacher’s greatest insult.

Imagine having to stand in front of a number of students, you’ve been talking on end, and your students aren’t listening. You start to think if you’re the reason why they’re bored. Maybe you are the one who’s boring and not the topic. More often than not, it is the approach to learning, and not you that’s making learning boring.


Making learning fun is an art as much as it is a practice. It is a practice because it requires a skilled and knowledgeable teacher with the right attitude to teach a number of students and to teach them well. It is an art because it sparks your imagination; it opens up your creativity, and makes use of your talents to make it fun as well as knowledgeable.


1)   Incorporate lively examples in your lessons. These examples have to relate to the type of students you’re teaching. If you keep throwing them with examples that are not only funny and true to life but full of content as well, you are stimulating their brains to think. If the brain is stimulated, it won’t stagnate and become bored.

2)   Motivate your learners. Making learning fun entails that students have to feel rewarded from the lessons they are absorbing. Generate interesting and open-ended questions that require their brains to think of an answer, rather than a yes or a no. Come up with great games that incorporate the lesson for the day in it. This allows students to get up and about rather than remaining seated for a whole hour or more. Games also allow students to apply what they have learned into real situations and are great evaluative tools for teachers.

3)   Turn your attention on the students rather than the student’s attention on you. Students develop a greater appreciation to learn when they know their teacher is concerned about their wellbeing. It is in this type of situation that students learn that learning is fun and have fun in learning.


4)  Evaluate your students’ capabilities and where they are at in learning. This will help you generate ideas and methods that all students will learn from rather than just a certain group. Some students take more time to learn than others, this shouldn’t be a hindrance for them to enjoy your lessons. Make sure that when you discuss the subject matter, everyone will learn and not a select few. If your methods are directed to those who only learn fast, those who take some time may feel discouraged and will choose not to immerse their selves in your discussion.


Perhaps the greatest secret all great teachers share is that no matter how boring the topic, if your students have a deep appreciation to learn, they will have fun. The secret then is to inculcating that appreciation in each of your students. If you have done that, then there is no limit to making learning fun for them. 

Love Your Kids

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Teaching kids may be hard for the new teacher as we are going to communicate with the one who are far more younger than us. While they are in the process of growing, we are in the process of maturing. The differences makes us difficult to understand their feeling and their world. Later, teaching and learning might be boring and disgusting to us and the worst thing is it will lead to frustration to the kids. So, whatever it is, the first thing that we must do is set up our mind to love them.